This week, we’ve been feeding back from our latest meeting with the club, which Harry has already detailed here. I won’t bore you with it again, but it was a pretty brief meeting today, because a lot of what we’ve been discussing with them is still a work in progress.
We do hope to confirm a date with them this week for the Boro Quiz, and I’m really excited about that, because it’s something different, and a great way to raise money. Talking of which, we’re still looking for sponsors for our races and horses for the Race Night on April 20th. Please do feel free to get involved and support us.
As for me, I’ve been very, very quiet lately, I know. I’ve not been doing the things that I want to do, not been putting in the efforts that are required of someone when they’re any part of an organisation, least of all a board member of an organisation that is responsible for promoting the wants and needs of others.
It’s been extremely hard for me to do my bit. I work a full time job, sometimes I work double shifts. I have other professional personal projects ongoing (buy my book) and I have a young family, the youngest of which, despite being a year old, has slept through the grand total of one times. The other day I met a friend in the supermarket who asked if I was ill, at which point I had to admit I’d slept about ten hours in four days. Put simply, I’m tired, and I’m running on empty.
All that can have a massive effect on how you feel. I’ll put my hands up and admit that when we had our first kid, I suffered greatly with my health, both physically and mentally, through being tired, to the point where I couldn’t be as rational as I wanted, and the stress and exhaustion began to manifest in other ways. I saw doctors, got treated for a number of things, all of which didn’t work, until they ultimately diagnosed me with stress and I was able to make some lifestyle changes.
This time, when I’ve felt the warning signs again, I’ve withdrawn my efforts a bit, concentrated on the important stuff, and looked after me and my family. I very nearly tendered my resignation from the board at one point, but I couldn’t. Here’s why.
We stand on the precipice of an exciting moment for this club. The return to the Borough name isn’t set in stone, but the answer is close. Last year the applicants, such as Darlington, revealed the outcome in April. We’re rapidly approaching that time. I don’t know the answer myself, I don’t know the date we will know, but I know what we’ve fed back to the FA, I know the positive dialogue we’ve had their and the support the public have shown and I know, deep down, that we’re going to get the right outcome. I just feel it, I believe it.
I want to be here doing my bit to capitalise on that. I won’t lie, that’s going to be a real feel good moment for me, and I’ll get the kick out of it. It’ll massage my ego.
But that’s not what I didn’t quit.
I didn’t quit because I need to make sure that I’m here, not for the good times, but for the bad.
I need to be here because of the “what ifs?” those intangible, theoretical moments that could come up out of the blue and threaten the very existence of our club.
What if Lee can’t run the club anymore? He’s just one man, who may one day decide he wants a new challenge. There are many, many reasons why tomorrow he might not be there, some of which I will not dare write about.
What if we get hit by an unexpected bill that threatens the club? We’ve seen flooding down at LW before. What if that happens again and leaves a massive repair bill? What if there is a fire? An accident?
I have to be around to do my part if the sh!t hits the fan. The cooperative is an imperfect organisation, it could be stronger with more members, more people on the board, that’s for sure. What if I left it completely? Would someone come and do what I do, or did?
No. I can’t quit. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Because if something happened to this club and I wasn’t there to do my bit, to pitch in and help the club I love, I would have failed myself. I would have failed everyone I’ve ever embraced when we’ve scored a goal, everyone I’ve ever told the score to down the pub, everyone I’ve ever laughed with when discussing just how bad we’ve played that day.
So I’ll stick around. Just in case. I want to do my bit if I’m called on.
Will you do the same?